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Walking Away From Familiar Faces

Yes, I know. It has been a month since I last wrote a blog post. To be honest, my only excuse is Enactus and Work. I have nothing else going on in my life that would be so much time consuming (it is even taking away the time I should be spending doing assessments for University).

For this reason, I find myself writing in the middle of the night (as always! Why am I still surprised?) while I should definitely be sleeping. But I have a few things I need to share. I have been trying to get over a few situations and I was honestly doing alright. I hadn't thought about this person in a while until I saw him right in front of me. Obviously, my instinct was to walk away. To get back inside the library. I walked as fast as I could, trying not to be too obvious about it. You know like: I just casually need to hurry up because it is really cold outside, or I am meeting someone else, or you know, just I don't want to speak with you. Luckily, he didn't try to speak to me. He didn't follow me. He simply turned around when I made no move to go and talk to him. I was not in the mood for that. There I was all happy and content, I didn't even remember his existence, and bam there he was reminding me of the mistake that was going out with him.
I don't regret meeting him. It was an experience that helped me become who I am today, but I hope that I never see him again. I don't want to talk or even look at him.

Of course, I don't just see this guy. (Luckily not on the same day!) I saw a few people from the other McDonalds store that I was working on last year. I have never been friends with them (or rather, they have never been friends with me) but suddenly, when they see me, they are all smiles and asking How have you been? I am polite enough to reply with a smile, but deep down I just want to walk away and (again,) never see them in my life. It is not like I do not like them, I just would rather not having to spend my time with people who have never shown any interest in me whatsoever while I was working with them but then, suddenly, decide that I was their friend.

Another thing that happened, is that I was invited to a meeting with a few people from my current store, as well as the previous one. I heard free food and was absolutely in for it. Everything was set until I remembered that I would have to see and speak to people that never showed any interest in my person. The only way I knew I would be able to deal with this situation, was through looking as good as I could. I asked Karolina for the outfit and make up (Bless you!) and when everything was set, I looked bomb. Without any doubt, I felt confident enough to walk up to the people I would rather never speak to again and smile in their direction. I simply had to do it. It was the only way I would face them. Food ended up being terrible (Indian food is too spicy *crying emoji*) and I simply had to go to McDonalds after to get some real food. It was one of the nights I felt most proud of myself.

Advice time:
> don't let stupid people rule your life, if you don't want to speak to them just walk away
> you don't need to pretend like these people are your friends
> be yourself, if you feel like walking away do it. if you want to make them feel jealous, do it.
> try to be as confident as you can, wear your favourite outfit; put on make up; if you look good, you feel good.

On other news, Enactus has got me stressed out. I only noticed when I went to work today (although it is already, technically, yesterday) and every single thing made me feel even worse. I almost texted my friends to go there and visit me. I only needed someone to talk to me, to get me through that moment. I honestly felt like I was about to hide somewhere and cry. I'm glad I didn't. Things got sorted out. I managed to get through the day in one piece and it is safe to say that I am proud of it. Hopefully tomorrow (aka today) it will be better. Unfortunately, I will not be able to have an easy shift that will allow me to be less stressed. The big boss is visiting the store during my whole shift so I will definitely be stressed out the whole time. I would text my friends, but I know I will not have a chance to speak to them. So I guess I will have to wait until 5:30 to stop for a second. Of course, after that, I still have Enactus. I am happy that I will be going there. It provides the perfect escape for me. I get to see the people I enjoy working with and to do something good with my time. And then I will get to come back home and go to sleep.
I can't wait for tomorrow's shift to end. I can't wait to go back to sleep.

It is getting late, and I need to wake up in the morning.

This log will end here.

I'll see you soon(-ish) with another post.

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